From Dq5r
Let's do this worldwide
don't 'cha? => don'cha
Outside notes
11E4: instead of pictures lets use something that appears on slots. Would king slime work?
***
#TEXTBLOCK=11E4
//@男@＊「スロットの やりすぎで
// 人が 絵柄に 見えます。<end>
@男@＊: If you play too much slots, you can still see the pictures spinning round ‘n round.<end>
@男@＊: You can still see the pictures spinning round ‘n round in your head if you play too much slots.<end>
//eh. either way i guess.
//New is fine.
#TEXTBLOCK=11E4
//@男@＊「スロットの やりすぎで
// 人が 絵柄に 見えます。<end>
//Picking something that are on slots...
//Keep an eye out on
@男@＊: If you play slots too much, you'll see king slimes spinning round ‘n round in your head for hours.<end>
#TEXTBLOCK=1377
//@男@＊「村の娘と 恋に落ちて
// 娘は その若者に連れられて
// 村を 出て行ったんじゃよ。<end>
//note: 3 line crunch
@男@＊: He fell in love with a beloved local girl and he took her away from our village.<end>
@男@＊: He fell in love with a cherished local girl and took her away from our village.<end>
//i'm really stuck on this because maybe 'fell in love' and 'beloved' shouldn't be in the same sentence like this. i just don't know.
//was there a reason, 'cherished' was replaced with 'beloved'?
#TEXTBLOCK=1377
//@男@＊「村の娘と 恋に落ちて
// 娘は その若者に連れられて
// 村を 出て行ったんじゃよ。<end>
//note: 3 line crunch
//Might need a bit more tweaking
@男@＊: He fell in love with a beloved young woman from this village and left with her.<end>
#TEXTBLOCK=11B8
//@先@は 足もとを 調べた！
//なにか 光るものが 落ちている！<end>
//@AGH@=his/her/its for head of the partyth
@先@ searched around @AGH@ feet! A shiny object catches your eye!<end>
@先@ searched around @AGH@ feet! A shiny object catches @AGH@ eye!<end>
//i think maybe that special 'his/her/its' code should replace 'your'.
//Twice sound ok?
@先@ searched around @AGH@ feet! A shiny object catches @AGH@ eye!<end>
#TEXTBLOCK=122A
//@男@＊「@主@さまが ごらんになれば
// きっと すぐにでも マーサさまを
// さがしに行ってしまうだろうと。<end>
@男@＊: He thought that if you saw it, His Highness would take off and search for Queen Martha.<end>
@男@＊: He thought that if you saw it, Your Highness would take off and search for Queen Martha.<end>
//i don't really know if 'Your' is right here, i should probably look up a rule somewhere.
//Used but keeping this here so we can look into it
//I tried making everyone refer to Abel in a different way. Sancho says "your highness" the most, so I try and curb that a little.
#TEXTBLOCK=122B
//@男@＊「サンチョどのは @主@王を
// パパス王のような 危険な目に
// あわせたくなかったんですね。<end>
@男@＊: Sir Sancho perished the thought of His Majesty being in a dangerous situation like he was in.<end>
@男@＊: Sir Sancho couldn't bear the thought of Your Majesty being in a dangerous situation like he was in.<end>
//again, not sure about 'Your' in this situation.
//Same
//This was an attempt at a British dialogue. Maybe it makes more sense if you read it in an accent.
//Well, I understand the idiom phrase 'perish the thought' but I don't think it's supposed to be used as a verb phrase, but more like, ...
//Oh I can't think of anything...going to the internet... For example, "He's going to give another speech? Perish the thought!"
//Anyway, my roundabout point is, I doubt the phrase can be used like you have it now. -Erin
//Done
#TEXTBLOCK=12B9
//@男@夫「そんな大声をあげて
// いったい なにごと なんだ？<end>
@男@Husband: What in the heck could be going on to cause all this commotion?<end>
@男@Husband: What in the world could be going on to cause all this commotion?<end>
//changing it up a little. we seem to always use 'heck' for a minor curse (i understand 'hell' being used when they're really mad).
//Same
#TEXTBLOCK=12D4
//@男@＊「だんなさま。<end>
@男@＊: I’m back, Master.<end>
@男@＊: I’m back, master.<end>
//Hmmmmm
//Master is being used as a title, like Sancho calls Abel Little Master.
#TEXTBLOCK=13EC
//@男@パパス「そっ そうか！<end>
@男@Papas: Re-Really!<end>
@男@Papas: R-Really!<end>
//We need a rule for this kinda entry... Keep track of these and do them on a case by case bases. Imagine if they are being said and include letters that would be pronounced if the word was stuttered.
*
//It's kinda different for everyone. It's just how there stumbling on the word at the given moment.
CLARIFICATION OR CONTEXT
#TEXTBLOCK=FFB
//@男@オジロン「余は 神の名にかけて
// 本日この時より そなたに
// 王位を ゆずるものである。<end>
@男@Ojiron: In the name of God, from this day forth, I hand over the crown to you.<end>
#TEXTBLOCK=1001
//@男@オジロン「さあ @主@王！
// つぎは 国中の民にも
// 新しい国王の お姿を！<end>
//NOTE: added 'crown' vs 'present' cause that's what english people do.
@男@Ojiron: Well, King @主@! Next we shall crown you before all of your kingdom’s loyal subjects!<end>
@男@Ojiron: Well, King @主@! Next we shall present you before all of your kingdom’s loyal subjects!<end>
//he was already crowned in line FFB, in 1001 he's being presented to his subjects. i think maybe 'present' is better.
//Changed
#TEXTBLOCK=1027
//@男@サンチョ「な なんということだ！
// これでは まるで
// ２０年前の あの日と……。<end>
@男@Sancho: Incomprehensible! This is almost like that inauspicious day 20 years ago...<end>
@男@Sancho: Incomprehensible! This is almost like that inauspicious day 20 years ago...<end>
//huh? 20? I thought Abel was supposed to be 16~17 years old...should we assume that a few years have
//passed since Abel escaped from slavery and got married and had kids...hmm, I think that's alright then.
//There are several gaps in years. The Japanese text clearly states 20 years.
#TEXTBLOCK=110F
//@男@＊「ん？ ビ ビアンカちゃん！
// ふが ふが……。<end>
//note: fixme: onomonotopeia -- Zzz?? FIXME...
@男@＊: Huh? B-Bianca!<end>
@男@＊: Huh? Bi-anca!<end>
//i wonder if this is the same guy that was stuttering or cat-calling back in lines B23 and B2E
//I think he's talking in his sleep. Probably the guy you find under Bianca's house.
#TEXTBLOCK=113C
//@男@＊「あちこち よく手入れされてて
// よっぽど 大切に
// 使ってたんだろうと思ったよ。<end>
@男@＊: I thought it was a good idea to use up something as soon as I’d collect it.<end>
@男@＊: I thought it was a good idea to use up something as soon as I’d collected it.<end>
//what is the contraction? 'I would' or 'I had'
//I would.
//hmm...I'm not sure that sounds right. "I thought it was a good idea to use up something as soon as I would collect it."
//or..."I thought it was a good idea to use up something as soon as I had collected it."
//I think the second one sounds like the right context. We don't have to get rid of the contraction, but we need to add an 'ed' after 'collect'. -Erin
//Done
#TEXTBLOCK=114C
//@女@＊「あとは お母さまが 早く
// 見つかるといいわね。
// 私も お祈りしているわ。<end>
@女@＊: Now all you have left to do is to quickly track down your mother. I’ll be praying for you.<end>
@女@＊: Now all you have left to do is quickly find your mother. I shall be praying for you.<end>
//is this still a nun saying this? i figure she might speak more formally. maybe.
//Nun, I'm sure.
//Changed
#TEXTBLOCK=118F
//@男@＊「ん？ ……あ！
// あなた様はっ！<end>
@男@＊: Huh? ...AH! So sorry, my Lord and Lady!<end>
@男@＊: Huh? ...AH! So sorry, sir, madam!<end>
OR
@男@＊: Huh? ...AH! So sorry, sir, ma'm!<end>
//maybe you've discussed this before, but I don't think Abel and his wife are nobility yet.
//If this is post crowning, they are. Keep in mind the script will hop around too. If I picked Lord and Lady, I probably had a good reason.
//Ok will keep an eye on this. The ds is no help on this one
#TEXTBLOCK=1225
//@男@＊「かつて パパス王が マーサさまと
// ご結婚されたとき お城の名工が
// 記念に作った ペンダントです。<end>
//This was borderline. Shaved off "to commemorate the event" for now
@男@＊: When King Papas married Queen Martha, our skilled craftsman made this pendant.<end>
@男@＊: When King Papas married Queen Martha, our skilled craftsman made this pendant to commemorate the event.<end>
//i like the phrase 'to commemorate the event'. maybe with the new <arrow> commands we can put it back in?
//You may want to arrow it because I think it was in there, but it overflowed.
//Changed to the following. Need to split it up though what I have probably needs more of a tweak
//@男@＊: When King Papas married Queen Martha, our skilled craftsman made this pendant.<arrow>@男@＊:It was to commemorate the event.<end>
//I think the split is good, but when the edit was made a word was left out. Make sure "made" gets put back in. -Erin
//Done
#TEXTBLOCK=123D
//下の階で オジロンたちが待っている！
//話をして行ったほうが よいだろう……。<end>
Prince Ojiron and company are waiting to talk to you downstairs! Please don’t keep them waiting...<end>
//is there a speaker for this one?? maybe it's a prompt from the game or something.
#TEXTBLOCK=1253
//@男@＊「もし再び 天空の城を
// 存在せしめられたなら……<end>
@男@＊: Maybe if [Heaven's:the Zenithian] Castle were to appear in the skies once again...<end>
@男@＊: Maybe if [Heaven's:the Zenithian] Castle were to appear in the skies once again...<end>
//you probably already have discussed this, but does 'Zenithia Castle' sound alright, like 'Reinhart Castle', instead of 'the Zenithian Castle'?
//It should probably be [Heaven's Castle:Zenithia] in this instance.
//Changed. Did you mean to have Castle for Heaven and not Zenithia?
//@男@＊: Maybe if [Heaven's Castle:Zenithia] were to appear in the skies once again...<end>
#TEXTBLOCK=12AE
//@男@＊「奥さま 奥さま
// だんなさまが もどられました！<end>
@男@＊: My Mistress, my Mistress! The master has returned!<end>
@男@＊: My mistress, my mistress! The master has returned!<end>
//these capitals will be the death of me. i think either both 'mistress' and 'master' should be capitalized or neither.
//and i think i vote neither should be.
//Should be, "My Mistress, my Mistress! The Master has returned!"
//Changed
#TEXTBLOCK=12B7
//@男@＊「さあ 奥さまも。<end>
@男@＊: And my Mistress, too?<end>
@男@＊: And my mistress, too?<end>
//Same as above.
/Kept the same
#TEXTBLOCK=1308
//@女@クラリス「もう 私も 若くないし
// これからは しっかりと生きようと
// 思って 帰って来たんです。<end>
@女@Clarice: I'm not as young as I used to be.<arrow>@女@Clarice: Even back in my dancing days, all I thought about was working hard to come home.<end>
@女@Clarice: I'm not as young as I used to be.<arrow>@女@Clarice: Even back in my dancing days, all I thought about was working hard and then going home.<end>
//'working hard to come home'? strange.
How about, "working hard so I could come back home."
//Changed
#TEXTBLOCK=D39
//@男@＊「しかし その天空の血をひく
// 勇者さまの家系が
// その後 どうなったのか……。<end>
//note: i'm going to recapitalize and split it.
@男@＊: But I don’t understand why there is hardly any record of the [Heavenly:Zenithian] bloodline after him.<end>
#TEXTBLOCK=1347
//@男@＊「@子@さまの お母上は
// 天空人の血を
// 引いているのでしょうか？<end>
@男@＊: Prince @子@'s mother must be a part of the [Heaven-folk:Zenithians] bloodline, right?<end>
@男@＊: Prince @子@'s mother must be a part of the [Heavenly:Zenithian] bloodline, right?<end>
//showing line D39 for reference.
//This is fine.
//Changed
#TEXTBLOCK=1367
//@男@＊「古い言い伝えでは
// 世界のどこかに ふしぎな塔が
// あるそうじゃ。<end>
@男@＊: An ancient story accounts a mysterious tower somewhere in the world.<end>
@男@＊: An ancient story recounts a mysterious tower somewhere in the world.<end>
OR
@男@＊: An ancient story tells of a mysterious tower somewhere in the world.<end>
//i think 'recounts' was originally meant (instead of 'accounts') as in 'to tell a story' but i'm not sure it's the right word in this context.
//Used the third for now
//I'm deleting these OBSERVATION blocks because they were just meant to be funny, not real suggestions or edits. -Erin
